Every day when the night descends
The worlds and words march on …
I open the clot of my arteries; veins widen
The lunatic heart begins to chirp and smile…
In chaos, I find harmony…in keeping a diary!
I have been with them long,
Storing the words into words….
There remain
--the so called “I” brimming with
My passions, feelings, fears, tears and smiles…
Wonder, who will fill up the last day of my diary!
After my death
Throw away all the bones
…and the flesh of my body
But,
Leave the diaries-
--I have gone
marking…!!
Heap them in a corner
And let them echo…
The imprints of mine...!!
Maybe,
Maybe,
Somewhere without my body,
my soul will begin to breath...
beautiful ..
ReplyDeleteReminds me I need to change my will so my diaries are also kept safe ...
Bikram
Thanks, dear Bikram for that first comment. After I wrote this post, I wanted to dig out some of the old diaries!! ...am in need of a whiff of memories of the days gone by. :D
DeleteBtw, why am I not able to access your blogs. My yahoo account has been hacked so can you give me the link of your page here please.
Many thanks...waiting for the link ! :)
WOW! That first stanza with heart as a bird chirping in blood is so vivid, that I had to pause and remember how "inner" diaries often were for me--blood and guts--life itself. AS your poem continues, I see the diary as soul and spirit. In my life, I think I have seen my boxes of notebooks more like snake skin, shuffled off at each new turn. I am going to think again, look into them and see what is alive. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSusan,
DeleteI love losing myself in the old pages....I used to keep journals. Now I don’t, somewhere along the line, I lost interest. My blogs are more like a diary today!! I wonder, why I gave up this wonderful habit. ..I still have a few cartons full of old diaries. Thanks for reading and for your comment. :)
when the night descends...and words march on...this is how a journey begins from the heart to the pen...how beautifully you have expressed this....and the wondering about the last page is very touching too....so many beautiful thoughts here..
ReplyDeleteThank you for your appreciation, Sumana. Its such a pleasure to see you always.:)
Deletenice....love the stanza on throwing away all the bones and meat but keep the journals...it is so direct....and true....keep the heart.....ha....cool...
ReplyDeleteYou are right, Brian. Diary writing is a great way of letting things appear directly on to paper...I love losing myself in the old pages...smiles.
DeleteThanks so much for being here!! I truly appreciate.
I like this one, Panchali. Some strong lines. Indeed, I think we all wonder who will fill up the last page of our 'diaries' whether or not we keep one. I think that oftentimes we do not want to think that our diary WILL indeed sometime have a last page. And yes - if anyone cares to read them after a person is gone, they will indeed see the sum of a person's life. I feel that way about my poetry really. At the moment it is the only diary I keep. At the moment it is enough. Keep writing the imprints of yourself, Panchali. I always enjoy your work.
ReplyDelete'The last' ...'page or phase of life' bothers me to no end, Mary. I know, I would go gently into old age.... and then, a day will arrive when I will be left out alone in the cold with no door to get back in..... Gosh!! Sounds crazy to me today!
DeleteIt is so like you to catch that particular nuance of the poem.You have no idea what pleasure you give me with your comments. Thanks a bunch!
I think our soul is conveyed and carried on in our words...our thoughts are far more valuable than our possessions
ReplyDeleteHey Jae... You couldn't have said it better!! Our thoughts are indeed more valuable than our possessions..but our journals at one point of time, become a valuable reminder of cherished part of their own personal history. So, I tend to cling...maybe. Thanks for being here. I truly appreciate.
DeleteBeautiful thoughts and imagery too.
ReplyDeleteTo me the scariest part of keeping a diary isthat someone may read it.
Thank you, Indu. Your comment delights me :) It scares me too...but, I will not be bothered if someone reads it after I am gone!! They say life is what you make of it. I guess, afte reading the journals one will be able to look at the mistakes I made in my life, learn from them, and move forward....that's my take :)) I know, I am crazy...LOL
DeleteSo good to see you here, Indu. Thnks a lot! xoxo
Nice to leave written memory for offspring.... ~ Love all this magic around writing a diary xx
ReplyDeleteOf course it will be amusing for the offspring to read those written journal....! :)
DeleteThank you so much humbird!! ! So happy that you enjoyed reading this...xoxo
I love "leave the diaries!" The recordings of our time here. I hope people will read my poetry after I'm gone - the testimony we will leave behind. I wish I had kept a diary now. i have forgotten so much.
ReplyDeleteYou are a brilliant poet, Sherry. You subtly bring out the various attribute of human behavior so immaculately. People are definitely going to treasure your work!! I am so sure :))
DeleteEven I have forgotten so much....sigh!
Thanks for reading and for your wonderful comment. xoxo
I really enjoyed this poem, Panchali. I do not have the diary I used to keep but I guess that I leave a kind of imprint in some ways, mostly in the digital world. Like you, I wonder how I will be remembered by those who are close to me.
ReplyDeleteMy poetry blog is my journal. I think poetry tells more about us than diary entries.
ReplyDelete" I open the clot of my arteries; veins widen
ReplyDeleteThe lunatic heart begins to chirp and smile…
In chaos, I find harmony…in keeping a diary! "
many tried, even I... but could not express what exactly makes us write...I wonder, if somebody could express a heart so very simply but thoughtfully...
True diaries (not appointment books) are windows to the soul, there we bleed on every page as we write to the only friend who really know us, ourselves!
ReplyDeleteProfound and soulful! I loved 'The worlds and words march on …'
ReplyDeleteLet me strike a slight discordant note!!
ReplyDeleteThere are two types of our thoughts and feelings one on personal and another on impersonal matters that we record in diaries.While one can be truthful and honest while putting in writing one's views on impersonal matters,it cannot be so where it is personal and involving known persons .The writings in diaries in such personal matters may be partially true clothing one's views in words that do not put the person in bad light.
We do not permit others to peruse our diaries and would like to keep our thoughts unknown to others especially in relation to friends and relatives.Some secret feelings we would never like to be known even after our life.Which married person would write openly on his or her secret love for another,or sins committed like accepting bribes or betrayingb spouse.There are always minor moral aberrations in everyone's life.The diaries therefore would always be varnished half truths.Even this,the person would like to be kept outside others gaze for ever.
But writing one's feelings on impersonal matters belong to another class where the writer can be brutally frank and truthful if he or she so desires?They can in some cases be a legacy for the posterity for their wisdom
I do not set much store by diaries as they generally are feeble attempts at experiments with truth.Diaries to me are more record of appointments,special days and reminders and useless after the year is over.
But the above views do not detract from the beauty of the poem and the thoughts expressed.
Parthsarthy, So good to see you here ... I am thrilled you liked the poem.
DeleteAs for the contents of the diary.... ahem...! He he he... I would also die if someone reads my personal things now- the so-called ROLLER-COASTERS of emotions,[while I am still alive]-- It's crazy, how I obsessively chronicle my highs and lows and fears and heartbreaks/health-breaks and stupid escapades ...and everything in between, in my little paper companion I've kept at my bedside,.
But, you are right-- everyone has negative phases in life - admittedly, keeping them in a journal may not prove good for the descendants... !! But, I seem to be in the minority. Somehow I feel, after I die...probably,I wouldn't mind my husband or my daughter read my cringe-worthy writings. In fact, I would LIKE my daughter to read them , to say the least!
My diary is the place where I am true to myself. I don’t feel shy, I don’t fear anyone, I just write whatever comes to my mind- a habit perfectly led me into blogging, which I still do....:)
See, didn't I tell you I love to rant..?? LOL
Glad you liked it... coming from you its a HUGE compliment. :))) Thanks a ton for your patience.
Re posting the comment as it was full of typo errors!
I like your candid reply.Yes you are in a small minority in the world of pretenders.I was a little apprehensive that you might not like my comment but I am so happy you took it in the right spirit.You have gone a few notches higher in my esteem!!
DeleteIn chaos I find harmony in keeping a diary. Diary writing is so therapeutic. Very nicely written.
ReplyDeleteDiary really keeps our imprints...wonderfully expressed.. :-)
ReplyDeleteVery well written! That is the legacy which will endure the test of time long after one leaves this world. Hopefully the future generation can learn from the triumphs and tribulations...
ReplyDeleteThe diary will surely reverberate with echos of printed words, Panchali, which you so assiduously preserve:)
ReplyDeleteDoes one ever reveal the real truth, even to an impassive paper? I doubt. I think we modulate and censor even as we write, with a warning bell of 'someone may read this.' tinkling in the background.
ReplyDeleteReally nice expressions. And oh, yes, Lovely name. She is my idol, the symbol of the ideal woman.
The diary can well show our footprints after we are gone. Though whether personal details can be made known is still a question! Nicely Panchali!
ReplyDeleteHank