The Priceless Gift

THIS STORY WON THE "GOLD" BLOG-A-TONIC BATOM on 13/11/2012 !!!

This story was also featured in 'What I've been reading this week#16!! Am truly honored and thrilled to be featured, Roshni...!! Thanks a lot!!...

Check the following link for a few more interesting links.... http://momofbigalittlea.blogspot.in/2012/11/what-ive-been-reading-this-week-16.html

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 33; the thirty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'Celebrations'

My retired headmaster, Father Roderick used to live in the Garo Hills of Shillong. The simplicity that he preached, appealed to one and all. He was a man of integrity, of principle who carried other’s woes throughout his life but, destiny had something else in store for him. It had been a religious calling he had believed in, but after the death of his only son, everything changed. He quickly pulled himself away from his friends, his associates, and church and  settled down in a remote place with his wife. He hated the care of others; so no one dared to invade his realm except for his beloved wife; whatever else came or happened, it was intrusion.

He displayed enormous reluctance in accepting me also, although I’d been his student in the past....But,  time rearranged itself according to wants, and corrected our relationship. A sense of gratitude pulled me over  to his place every month.  As an orphan, I was very fortunate to get Father Roderick in my life. He placed his hands on my shoulders at the right time and kept them hovering above me, till I was big enough to face the world. He was a good provider for many like me. So, to me, his home was the home of God….here I saw the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity in its truest form.

One day, he sent a telegram informing me of his wife's death.The gravity of the situation pulled me to his door once  again. Sun had descended down the hills, Nathan's lantern was visible in the darkness. A pale yellow glow was shining from behind the red and yellow curtains. Nathan was sitting on the steps smoking a beedi. He leapt up when he saw me.

‘So late? Father has been waiting for you for a long time. He was expecting you in the afternoon…Come with me,’ Nathan said, taking my hand.

Nathan flung open the door, the curtains billowed a little; the night breeze was cold. The cottage smelled faintly of many things: flowers, phenyle, room freshener, mosquito coil…the smells tussled for a while, but, the pine- breeze from the hills submerged everything in seconds. The table lamp was on, but the pool of light  wasn't enough to illuminate his face fully. His eyes were closed…

‘You’re here… I was waiting for you, Ralph.’ Father uttered, withdrawing his hand from under the shawl and he raised the wick of the table lamp. I moved closer… 

‘I’m sorry for your loss, Father.I understand what a departure of a loved one brings on…’

'I am glad you came!' he said, nervously, but then he swiftly turned to practical matters.

 Nathan came out of the kitchen with two glasses of masala tea. Father held the glass carefully, tried to sip but put his glass down.

‘Would you like me to cool the tea for you, Saar?’ Nathan asked.

‘Oh, I’ll wait for it to cool’, he said.  I realized, he still didn't like any kind of intrusion. I kept stirring my spoon in circles around the base of the tea-cup…

Father rose, and said,’  We need to talk, Ralph. Let me fetch a pen and a paper.’ He left the room tucking the shawl around him.

I was too tired, there was a sense of grief everywhere in that dark, dingy room… soon he was back.

'Perhaps,' said Father, ruminating, ' it was all my fault. I didn't give her enough time.', he patted the arm of his chair in frustration.

'Do you know, she was a nurse once upon a time… Wonder, why she didn't tell me that she was suffering so much with that tumor in her stomach— it was as big as a cricket ball. But, while she lived, not a murmur passed her lips. On the contrary, she would give me courage when I lost my heart. …", he accused, gathering himself together with a labored effort.

I had never seen him talking so much. So, I kept looking at him until his opaque eyes shifted a bit.  He finished giving me all the details in a single breath...But, suddenly he flinched…. his voice became low, tears trickled down his cheeks....

He stopped only for a moment: sweat glistened on his chin even in that altitude, he continued....

"Last night, we retired early. Around midnight, my eyes opened…her bed was empty. I thought she was in the wash room, so I drifted off. When my eyes opened again, her bed was still empty. I looked around, she was nowhere in the house, the front gate was open. I stepped out.....it was pitch dark. My feet stopped all of a sudden.. If I had got there five minutes later, perhaps I would have wandered like a mad man all night.....she was sitting at the edge of the cliff with her feet dangling down. I touched her shoulder, turned her around and drew her towards me....and asked her, ' what are you doing....???"

"Unperturbed, she pulled me down to sit beside her and asked  a very poignant question for the first time in life"

:' Do you want my happiness?', her voice reverberated through the crisp air. She continued,  'If you love me, give me a push, just a gentle push...' 

I was shocked! I realized, she had shielded me from her pain until this day, and was begging me for deliverance from it...I dragged her home, and put her in bed, but she kept staring at me without saying a word. I don't know what were in those eyes...they were pleading...justifying..appealing...alleging...I realized, she surely deserved a ‘dignified death’. 

'Both me and Maria sat in silence, watching the raging amber fire in the fire-place for a long time. The shades of the long flames were dancing all around us...the wind had risen outside; its ghostly whistle reverberated in the chimney. I was sweating....'

 Much of the night had passed. Maria was still wreathing in pain. My presence seemed less than necessary, sleep was elusive....I felt like a parasite---a selfish man who was only thinking about his own life, his duties, his loneliness. I went to bed and drew a blanket over myself---waiting to sleep. 

Maria was moaning, her eyes were bulging out of her sockets, her hands were flailing as she was fighting for life. With great difficulty, she called me and said, ' Roderick, life has nothing to do with living or dying---it dangles on a thread of love. Pull at the thread, and a wave of pain rises. If you love me....leave the thread, and let me go'. 

I realized, that her faith was not in God, but in me---I couldn't tolerate her suffering anymore. I gave her an overdose of morphine and put her to sleep....

Dr Sharma came in the morning in his usual visit. The room was shining in the sun, the windows had caught a beautiful dawn...it was a clear morning, so peaceful outside that there was hardly a thud of any fear in my heart. Dr Sharma wrote the death certificate without probing further....

'Ralph, now my world is strewn with pale, shriveled leaves. All so peaceful, yet so turbulent. I can't live like a survivor now. Please take me to the Police Station. I want to surrender....

There was a strange peace in his face after sharing the secret to which everyone was privy except me. I didn't know what to say....
Father Rodrick smiled and.handed over his diary to me. I read the following quote...

"Don't cry

because it's over.
Smile because it happened."
-Dr. Seuss

A funeral is saying goodbye, but remembering who the person was and the difference he/she had made in others' lives give joy and incredible peace to his/her family. So, celebrating life even after it has sunk should be the most important ritual....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: BLOGGER NAME, Participation Count: 06

This story has been featured in 'What I've been reading this week#16 also!! Am truly honored and thrilled to be featured, Roshni...!! Thanks a lot!!...
Check the following link for a few more interesting links.... http://momofbigalittlea.blogspot.in/2012/11/what-ive-been-reading-this-week-16.html