Monday, October 01, 2012

When Words Fail...



‘I wish someone told me…’
Dreams I was dreaming belonged to the dream time
They were enough to embrace me, stifle me
And obliterate me at some point of time!
Looking back, I think now
Why did I take so long to break the rules?
A precarious existence wouldn’t have lasted long
It left me in tears, oozing love smudged the air
He had two loves; two precious hearts to die for
 I kept fighting for my share, for my rights
Ah, there were things I did not see; or may be
 I didn't want to see; I wanted his destiny to become mine,
Alas! My revelation was shocking to say the least
 I couldn't take myself away from the orbit of his world
---real or imagery, I kept ignoring his flaws
For me, love was God, pure, sacred; almost a religion
So, my struggle continued...
I neglected my own self…more than all
What a waste of time and energy it was… now I think,
The scary nights when I didn't hear from him
Felt almost faint with deprivation, humiliation
My wayward dream for return of love was ridiculous
No one came to know; I never put my agonies into words
But one night when he returned home; I tried to talk,
But...he sealed my lips with his mouth
How I hated him that night
His demanding, probing hands, and mouth rattled my bones
He convinced me about my ‘worry-wart’ nature
He sounded accusing…he was in his element
I pushed him aside, felt liberated
Facing the truth that night
It was a night to celebrate
He looked at me with most pitiful eyes,
Tears had made his irises red;
Upper-lids were swollen like blisters
He opened his heart and asked me to forgive him…
We sat side by side, numb, ...there was no pain
Thank God…
My little heart was strong enough to let me ride on it

‘I wish someone told me…’
That love is a fantasy and not reality
It creates a space to be left alone later 
I hesitate to use the word ‘love’ today
For me love is naked; he'd sullied the purity
Love separates, brings pain
Love is choking, cloying, distant and oppressive
Past is, what I treasure today as a symbol of pain
Still there’s something of him everywhere
Memories still follow me like a snake
The hooting of the owls,
Howling of distant jackals, and dead of night
Add more to the mind’s debris,
And pushes me to a dead-end
I dun know how to get rid of the aches 
The dark threads of memory
Ridiculously loop me in their grips, like snares

‘I wish someone told me…’
Splendors of romance
Have something foreboding
Beneath its opulence
Adultery—what an ugly word!




 This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda....

80 comments:

  1. you plucked a chord my heart

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    1. Oh I am sorry, Satish :(( But, love is not always sweet, steady, loyal and endearing! Thanks for coming back to share your thoughts... :)))

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    1. Thanks Sahi. And thanks for your first time visit :) Hope you come again...

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  3. you seem to have opened your heart completely....on this one...a soulful post..:)

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    1. Saikat, Good to see you after a long time...:)
      Thanks so much for the visit... and the feeling of satisfaction you give me with your comment.. :))
      Do stay in touch!

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  4. Very well displayed the phases of Love~
    Love is beautiful only till it is well praised from the other side..
    The other one is Waiting with bundle of faith and hope..
    And the most painful and weird phase of Love is when your Love is not valued!

    Beautiful poem indeed :)
    Best wishes

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    1. Simran, Sure, 'its painful when love is not valued'--how immaculately you said that!! That was a wonderful comment..Really glad that you enjoyed this poem so much to leave a compliment like this...:)))
      Thanks a bunch :)

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  5. बेहतरीन कविता पांचाली जी

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    1. Thanks Shashi for your encouragement, coming from a poet, it means a lot :)

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  6. Oh God! Beautiful! i can relate to it too :(

    love
    http://www.meghasarin.com

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    1. awww..it's a poem with grief. So, it has hit you hard, my dear :((
      I will shortly visit your space. Am going out on a 5 day trip....so, might get a bit delayed.
      Thanks Megha...xoxo

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  7. feels like a wave of emotion just soaked me all over! as much as the verse reflects the pain of countless women in that position, it also shows how a little courage can liberate oneself... inspiring and beautiful!

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    1. Awww...li'l princess, Thanks for coming by... and for the thumbs up :))Appreciate your compliment.. :))xoxo
      Thanks a ton!

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  8. Poignant post however seems to lack your finesse in the 1st half. Maybe you have not edited?

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    1. Thanks for coming by, Deepak... and sorry for the disappointment. Am going out on a holiday in a couple of hours, so dun know when I'll find time to edit. Let me see...
      Thanks anyway...

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    2. No offense. Just that you have set very high standards for yourself :)

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    3. Not isssues, I say!I liked your frankness,Deepak. Edited the first part painfully-- Connection is erratic on train! Would love a feedback :)

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  9. Oh, such a lucid poem. It portrays the story very well.

    Yes, Love is pure; but adultery spoils it all.

    http://www.anucreations.blogspot.in
    http://www.facebook.com/VolatileSpirits

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    1. Thanks Anupama. Glad you liked the poem. Am travelling, shall get back and read your blogs. Thanks for being here..:)

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  10. Beautiful poem even if it was sorrowful. .

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    1. Thanks Abhinav. It is a sad poetry, but that's reality!:((
      Shal visit your post soon..

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  11. The tragedy of love so poignantly painted..the first few lines might look smarter if brushed-up a little perhaps! Your master strokes will do the magic, Panchali:)

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    1. Thank you, Amit! That was a bouncer! haha..do check,I did some editing just now. Can't work much when the signal is weak..:)

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  12. mam it was so touchy and beautiful -loved it :) :)

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    1. Glad you liked it, Vinisha. I am thrilled :D
      Thanks a bunch:)

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  13. This one has strong emotions within each word ... loved it !!!

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    1. Green Speck, coming from a poet...this is a huge compliment!! Thanks a ton:)
      Sorry about the delayed-revert. I was out on a vacation..!

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  14. Beautifully written Panchalidi..most women could relate to your lines..it is harsh but its very true..loved it a lot..enjoy your vacation..

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    1. Ranita, Life... for aome can have a lot of conflict inherent in it... relationships specially seem to be taking a beating...

      Thanks for coming by... :)))

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  15. '..convinced me about my worry-wart nature..' -- we've all done a bit of that.

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    1. Thus...we are what we ARE...disintegrated identities!!
      Thanks Shovon.

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  16. Replies
    1. Thank a ton for reading it so well, Rajesh :)

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  17. The agony of deceit in love-you have expressed it so lucidly without losing out on the lilt & the rhythm.It has been written with blood & tears but ends with a valiant bounce back!

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    1. Indu...Thanks for the patience in reading it up so well. Relationships are laden with conflicts, more so, in today's context. You are right of course...the end part depicts woman-power!
      Thanks for the visit.. I am sorry I took forever to reply to the comment.... was away for a few days..... :))))

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  18. Very beautiful and emotional, every word. It was a privilege reading it. :)

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    1. Akshay!
      I am flattered... and I mean that honestly. It's a privilege to have readers like you :))
      Thanks a lot.. you made my week... :)))))

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  19. Panchalili, welcome you very warmly.
    Wonderfully written poem.
    Love, tragedy.
    I am delighted.
    I send greetings.
    Lucja

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    1. Awww..thank you Lucja...I am delighted too to read your lovely comment!! Was away, hence got delayed in responding. Thanks for the encouragement..
      Shall come to your space soon...lot to catch up!!
      Love,

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  20. Beautifully expressed. This is my first time here and I am hooked. :-)

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    1. Welcome to my space, Jyothi! That was an impressive comment...:)))))
      You've been a great discovery for me too...shall be in your space soon :))
      Thanks a bunch!!

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  21. Replies
    1. Thank you Suhas, for your kind words and for the visit... :))Hope to ssee you more...shall visit our space soon :)

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  22. Dear Panchalidi,

    Have fun on your trip and come back with many stories:))

    I am a sucker for romance so I heart this one with all the nok jhonk.
    It is so difficult to go inside the head of a woman in love and you
    have done it, effortlessly :D



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    1. Thanks Ghaz..I am glad you could relate to this... thank you for your words and for the visit... :))

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  23. very beautiful poem ...
    and have a great trip :)

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    1. Thanks TTT....Thanks for making my day... :))

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  24. Very beautiful poem Lovely work! :)

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Valli... good to see you here... :))))

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  25. Panchali, that was cathartic! The tapering structure of poem synchronises with the frittering away of the passion. Beautiful creation.

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    1. Umashankar, Your words are most gracious... My protagonist IS a convoluted character.... and strangely weak in some places. But that is what makes her believable and human I guess...

      Thank you for the appreciation and the visit... :)))))
      Have been away, so sorry about the delayed revert.

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  26. So beautiful the vagaries of a heart filled with emotion.

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    1. Rachna,
      Coming from you, that's a huge compliment. I am thrilled by your words...:)))Thanks a bunch!

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  27. simply beautiful..loved the way it flowed..

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    1. Found In Folsom!! Good to have you here after a long time.
      Thanks a lot for the visit.. and the fabulous comment.. :)))))

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    2. I was planning on visiting your space for so many days and keep forgetting. Now, I started following. I don't have to worry. I can get the notifications.. :)

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    3. Wow FIF----I am thrilled !!...it would be my pleasure to see you on these pages more often. Thanks a ton!!
      xoxo

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  28. You brought out the various moods in love so beautifully. Very profound, each line was deep and soaked in heartfelt emotion and it took the story forward. Beautiful, love your writings to the core. :)

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    1. Arti....I am a fan of your travel blogs too!!..Coming from you, that's a huge compliment. I am thrilled by your words...:)))

      I am glad you have understood the core of the poem so well.No wonder, I wait for your comments :))))
      Thanks a bunch!

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  29. really nice poem Panchalidi !

    Regards,
    Ranadhir

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    1. Thank you, Randhir for your appreciative comment. Welcome to my space..:) Hope you'll visit again..

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  30. but if someone alreayd told you thant what would be the fun in learning yourself , making the mistakes and learning from them ..

    I guess that is life ..

    Bikram's

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    1. Yes, Bikram...Somehow I like her for not sitting and moping and being ready to give herself a chance to be happy....!! That's part of living, I guess so...
      Thanks for being here...:)

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  31. That was intense and strong Panchali. Superb

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    1. Glad you enjoyed reading this, Jayashree :) I am thrilled by your words...:)))

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  32. Beautiful one. Written very well. By the way that accompanying image was also too good.

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    1. Oh, good to see you here after a long time, TF. You were surely missed :(
      Thanks a lot for the visit.. and the fabulous comment. Yes, I liked that image too!
      Hope to see you more often on these pages...

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  33. Seeing our mistakes in retrospect is always salutary, but the profundity of this lifts it to a new level.

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    1. Thanks Dave King. Welcome aboard...
      Yes, and I am glad this woman was able to bounce back from life's most testing time!Thanks for being here:)

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  34. Such a sad topic to write about, but you did it so well. Your piece is very profound.
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog earlier :)

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    1. Thanks for your visit, Laura. Ella's prompt took me there and I loved your sky...!! I missed the deadline this time. May be, next time, I 'll write something ..:)
      Thanks for the encouragement...

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  35. Your poem is titled When Words Fail, but the topic of love, betrayal, adultery, lost hopes, has never been more clearly told. Beautiful writing. A sad story of a woman who deserved so much better. May her spirit soar like eagles, far beyond the pain his unworthiness caused.

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    1. Thank you for that lovely comment,Sherry Blue Sky. It is MOST gratifying to win a pat on the back from a poet you admire...:)) Thanks a ton !!

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  36. Very deep and profound.... this post is haunting!

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    1. Me....Good to see you here after a long time!! Thanks for your encouraging comment! Do visit again..please :)

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  37. Such a dreamy enlightenment :) Your words did not fail it made me rise with every line. :) Beautifully written(though I am no one to judge a great poet as you), the excerpts portrayed are vivid & creates an amazing essence:)
    I am your 90th followers now.. May you get a thousands follower till the year ends. :) Thanks !

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    1. Tanya...How amazing it is, isn't it, to find echos in other people's hearts...? It humbles me every time.

      Thanks and love,

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  38. i am at loss of words for this one.. very thought provoking and touching..

    you have stirred quite a lot of fibers of my heart through this one..

    Absolutely marvelous.. Take a bow ma'm..

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  39. Luv is always sweet in all forms , all stages , all relations , but when it comes to man women love in literary form , sweet love has no existence or it is boring ,having no essence , it is the dark side of love or our longing for someone who is missing or parted ways , when reminiscences haunts you ,really force us to express something beyond , that is why I like “ Loyal au mort” or Loyal to the dead , dead means real or virtual.

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