Monday, May 28, 2012

In Search Of Candy Girl


“A cigarette and a match-stick please’, he said and threw a few coins on the counter. Ishwar was trying to act casual.
With plump trembling fingers he attempted to light his cigarette. Would his wife and family have a fit if they saw him now! He chuckled to himself.
The Red-light district wasn’t all that pleasant.
A figure stepped in. She nodded at the direction of the café.
Ishwar entered the café.
A girl was waiting; her face was surrounded by the billowing smoke of cigarettes. He took a small step towards her…
‘Just give me yes or no…’
Her voice startled him like a gunshot! From the corner of his eyes, he could clearly see the chewing motion of her jaw. The face was closer to his daughter’s…
He moved closer, and those eyes had no sense of fear today; only a disgust and loathing for this boorish man before her.
World crumbled; all contacts broke!
She was directly looking into his eyes now; he noticed the thin red veins that crept out from her irises, and she spoke:
‘Never knew that my first catch in the raid would be my Father, begging at stranger’s door for love. Were you really so ignored and unloved?’
Ishwar was pinned down to silence. He didn’t have the right answer. A death sentence  was pronounced ....!


Flash Fiction in 225 words !

27 comments:

  1. disturbing reality. very courageously written. i have very high regard for those who write fiction, since i find it very challenging myself. congrats.

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    1. What a pleasure to see you here..., Shubhorup!Glad you liked this tiny piece... coming from you its a HUGE compliment. :)))It was challenging all right...but, was nevertheless enjoyable...! You write so well!!

      Good to see you here... as always... :)))Thanks a ton!

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  2. Bold but sad too i.e. the concept, definitely very beautifully penned!

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    1. Thanks for the compliments...means a lot, Amit :) Thank you!

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  3. Powerful... compact and hard hitting style of writing.. love it!

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    1. Glad you liked this.. I am pleased, magiceye :)) Thank you

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  4. it might be fiction but it has a great social message it in for real.......nice work :)

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    1. Thanks Saikat. Thanks for your patience in reading it all...
      To tell you the truth, I was worried I might not be able to do justice to the climax. I can start to breathe.... :))
      Do visit again...please:)

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  5. Life is strange and we never know what will happen next. Powerful and crisp. I loved the way you wrote this line, the right amount of words and emotions,

    "Never knew that my first catch in the raid would be my Father, begging at stranger’s door for love. Were you really so ignored and unloved?"

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    1. Thanks Saru! For you to say you enjoyed the offering more than justifies my labor. Thank you for your appreciative comment. It means a lot to me... :))Please do visit again..

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  6. Hello ma'am,

    I've read a few posts on similar story line but this was very aptly put. Shocking and sad at the same time.

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    1. Dear Neha,

      Welcome to my space. :))

      I am glad you could relate to this... thank you for your encouraging words and for the visit... :))Do visit again...
      Thanks!

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  7. This is brilliant writing.
    And I love the name of your blog. :)

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    1. Dear Sudeshna,

      Delighted with your comment.. and visit of course!!
      I love your name too...because my daughter's name is also Sudeshna...! :-)
      Thanks a Lot...

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  8. Oh dear Panchali, that was brutal!

    Will be back for more.

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    1. Dear Purba,

      I will wait for your visit...:))
      I can now permit myself to be impressed with myself..:D Thanks

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  9. Panchali

    This is "Flash fiction" indeed ----truth and hypocracy bared in a "Flash"---but this need not necessarily be fiction it may well be a true incident.
    gripping read grippingly written as always

    love
    rajni

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    1. Rajni! Thanks for the wonderful comment :)....human beings are too emotional and proud to diagnose the symptoms of betrayal at early stages. We put on blinkers... because to see the truth is to potentially lose the relationship.... !!
      Love,
      Panchali

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  10. its d first time i visited yr blog , well penned hard hitting post, v realistic too .

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    1. Dear Alka,
      Welcome to my blogs...!
      I am thrilled to see you here..Thanks for the compliment... all the more precious to me because it comes from you...:)))
      Hope to see you more on these pages.
      Thanks a bunch :-)

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    2. Alka, I can't open your pages...wonder why ??? Internet Explorer is shutting it down since yesterday...plz check.

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  11. 230 and odd words can sometimes convey a million deep meanings...Great Post!

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    1. Dear Jayshree,

      I think, now it has come down to 223 words...!Thanks for that 'wake up call'...lol :))
      Hope to see you more....

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  12. Wow! I don't know what to say. Very powerful post, a sad reality of our times.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment, Akshay K..I am grateful. Hope you'll visit again.. :))

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  13. Missed this one, Panchali...what a piece! wow! "Were you really so ignored and unloved?’"--that claws the heart of the story. Do we go places for being loved? What restlessness keeps us so unsatiated! Flash fiction indeed--I get it!

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    1. Dear Bhavana,

      Lovely...!You add charm to my write-ups... you show them to me from an angle I didn't see them before...You're such an inspiration. Please do keep coming.

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