Monday, May 21, 2012

CLOSURE~



The narrow door of the local almost sucked me in
‘Indomitable is the spirit of Man’, I muttered...
Once in, I saved myself from the fury of the scorching sun
I had a gift of disappearing –real or imaginary
So, I hid myself in a corener and ceased instantly
It was so simple to exist and yet appear not to exist
In a crowd, that was reproachful rather than welcoming
I looked on with many improbable ideas in my mind...
The crowd growing in size was soon heedlessly everywhere
I remained clutching window bars; concentrating on reading was impossible
Calls of the hawkers hummed along with the tunes of my ipod
There was not an inch to stand in the compartment,
But, it was amusing how the raucous vendors were triumphantly perched
On top of their large baskets of fish or vegetable with so much ease
Their sense of space was more quick-witted, I observed
Eminently, more virtuous than mine stuffed with prejudices
They knew, it was no use fighting for a little space
Co-existence is real…lay hushed.
First time, I felt so incomplete.
 The crowd was babbling, brimming with an outwardly energy
The train lurched on, but my alter ego wouldn't surrender
An uncanny fear gripped me now
I took off my gold bangle from my hand, shoved it in the handbag
Created a  'net of precaution' around me
And this time, my beleaguered spirit barked at me (it rarely did)
‘The ornament was only an object, .....wasn’t it, just a thing? ‘
Licking the salted flakes of sweat from my upper lips, I crouched in shame
Ah, what a misfit I was amongst the colorful folks with simple lives
Adorned with so much pretence...
I became naked in seconds...
Humdrums never been the beat for me....
But, do I always have to be same?
My carefree mind laughed at my sadness
Squeezed between the contorted bodies on one side
And, grimy bars of the window on the other
I paid a price for my antics
Human beings thrive with life and madness!
For lesser mortals racism, consumerism, corruption have no meaning
Inequality and oppression in rawest form is rooted in their dreary drudgery
A ditty pulled me up to the surface...
For the first time, I felt cleansed and sanctified
Came across a beautiful alternative world…
So different…without sleep, luxury and senses
Where man actually survives without Technology’s lure.
He knows that the joy of sharing is actually priceless.
Away from my air-conditioned coaches and cars
His life moves on in an eternal sojourn
Everyday he stumbles, falls, gets up and runs
Frozen mind is eternally bliss.....



Indian local train service is the fastest way of getting from one side of the city to the other.Getting on and off the train is a specialised skill. There’s no room for niceties. People elbow, push, and shove their way through.Every time I get on the train, ( which is rare---I’m so thankful that it’s not a regular part of my life.
 This is a prose in poetry. A work that has poetic characteristics such as vivid imagery with concentrated expressions. Prose poetry deliberately breaks some of the normal rules of prose to create heightened imagery or emotional effect. Just trying my hands ..:) 

27 comments:

  1. This is absolutely brilliant!!!!
    Loved it!!

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    1. Dear Magiceye,
      Welcome to my space :)
      I am delighted that you HEARD the 'echoes' of the common men and living souls!! I 'heard' them for my own purpose... taking a poetic license with it so to speak. :))
      Glad you liked the write-up...
      Thank you for your visit. Hope to see more of you on these pages... :))
      Panchali

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  2. ...a nice one Panchalibolchi!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Amit,
      I am pleased you enjoyed this.. :))Please do visit again.

      Panchali

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  3. Replies
    1. Dear Utopia,
      Great !! I'll cherish your 'super like' for ages now...:) Thanks a TON!

      Delete
  4. This is a neat piece--a thoughtful piece that arises from some amount of detachment!!!

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    Replies
    1. Welcome to my space, Bhavana :)
      You are right...such thoughts normally arise from a sense of detachment! There's nothing much you need to do, to set urself freee...:))

      Thanks for your encouraging comment...I really enjoyed writing this piece..!!
      Would love to see you more here...Thanks!

      Delete
    2. You write very well Panchali. Your newest follower--awaiting your next post:)

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  5. Replies
    1. Dear Geeta,

      Welcome to my space...
      Thanks for coming by....it was such a pleasure:)Do visit agagin...:)))

      Delete
  6. So glad to have found your blog. This is truly an intense piece of writing. I can identify with the need to blend poetry and prose and I have found it to be very effective for certain subjects. Life has a funny way of bringing precisely that lesson to your doorstep that you are most in need of. Thanks for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. So good to see you here, Subhorup :)
      Coming from you, that was some compliment. I am sooo pleased you liked this! As you very concisely said,' Life has a funny way of bringing precisely that lesson to your doorstep that you are most in need of..."
      It is always hard to address the desires that are deep inside....but, when that happens, the feeling is promising !!
      Thank you and would love to see you more on these pages:)

      Delete
  7. Dear Bhavana,

    You have added immense value to my blog with your super duper comment...:)) Please accept my gratitude and thanks.

    But, wonder why your comment is not showing on this page..?!!
    I gathered it from the dashboard...Thanks a LOT :) Please do visit again..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. D Nambiar,

      Welcome to my page :) Glad you liked the post.Thanks for dropping by and for your nice comment...
      Hope to see you more on my space...:))

      Delete
  9. as a daily passenger, I know intimately the ambience you're talking about. struggle for survival comes alive in these compartments.

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    1. Glad you could connect, Abin. Thanks...

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  10. I love this, fantastic observations and use of language, thanks for transporting me away from mundane-ville where I spend too much time.

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  11. You invoked a world for me so real that I wanted to know the words of the ditty your narrator heard that lifted her into the human race from behind her net of protection. I loved the space created by her vision of vendors, and especially this:
    "But, it was amusing how the raucous vendors were triumphantly perched
    On top of their large baskets of fish or vegetable with so much ease
    Their sense of space was more quick-witted, I observed
    Eminently, more virtuous than mine stuffed with prejudices
    They knew, it was no use fighting for a little space
    Co-existence is real…lay hushed."

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  12. as I was reading I got the.image of the Indian trains, there's no way I could experience them with all those people

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  13. I enjoyed this tremendously, Panchali. Interesting, isn't it, how people who are used to these trains, such as the vendors, manage to find a spot among the crowd easily enough. And the regulars knew that people had to co-exist in what little space there was. I understand putting away your bangles, as there is fear in crowds such as this for sure. I have already experienced similar feelings when I have taken a local bus at a busy time of day. (I seldom take busses at all.) Or when in the subway in New York with lots of people milling about, mostly familiar with the scene; and I know that I would stick out like a sore thumb with my ill at ease.

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  14. You put me right on that train, with the crowding, the fear of robbery, the reflections. I especially love the thoughts at the end about people whose lives are stripped down to the essentials. Very interesting read.

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  15. Very deep and well written!
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2013/03/womens-day.html

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  16. You are amazing! The sights, the sounds, the color...your thoughts, your conclusions--all had me experiencing it too. You wove so much into this...brilliant!

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  17. This was an interesting story, and real enough to have the reader step in your shoes. excellent

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  18. Could visualise this. and agree! sometimes, we do tend to create a bar of prejudice and judgement! much against our own will and conscience!

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